The 101 Best Confucius Jokes That Will Make You Laugh | the lists (2023)

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Confucius was aChinoPhilosopher, politician, editor and teacher. He was very famous for his sayings. This is not the place for that. With that in mind, check out the 101 Best Confucius Jokes.

Index

Nos. 101 – 90. Confucius tells jokes

101. Confucius says that the wise never play jumping with the unicorn.

100. Confucius says that the man who eats many plums sits on cans for many moons.

99. The man who excels at putting a worm on a hook is Master Baiter

98. Confucius says that the girl sitting on the judge's lap receives an honorable discharge.

97. Confucius says: Many nails are needed to build a cradle, but one screw to fill it.

96. Confucius says that the passionate kiss is like a spider web to destroy a fly.

95. Confucius says that the man who jumps through the screen door tries very hard.

94. Confucius says that a man standing on a corner with his hands in his pockets feels angry.

93. Confucius says that a couple on a seven-day honeymoon makes a whole week.

92. Confucius says that the man who eats many plums is well off money.

91. Confucius says that the man who eats a lot of gummy bears farts in Technicolor.

90. Confucius says that the man who ratted on a menstruating girl was caught red-handed.

The 101 Best Confucius Jokes That Will Make You Laugh | the lists (1)

Nos. 89 and 80. Confucius tells jokes

89. Confucius says that the man who puts the woman on the ground takes a piece of land.

88. Confucius says that a baby born in an automatic car becomes a lazy bastard.

87. Confucius says that the man who drives like a devil is destined to get there.

86. Confucius says that a man trapped in the pantry gets his ass pinched.

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85. Confucius says that the man who leaves too early leaves the gum.

84. Confucius says: "The boy who goes to bed with sexual problems wakes up with the solution in hand."

83. Confucius says that twice as bad is not right, but twice as right is.

82. Confucius says that no man is an island but some women are whales.

81. Confucius says man in tight pants, pushing his luck.

80. Confucius says that a house without a bathroom is strange.

Nos. 79 and 70. Confucius tells jokes

79. Confucius says that whoever sits on the toilet gets angry.

78. Confucius says that a man who inhales coke gets blisters in his nose.

77. Confucius says that a soldier who goes to bed horny wakes up with a dishonorable discharge.

76. Confucius says that the desk is fixed when it is bolted to the table.

75. Confucius says that the man who masturbates simply fucks himself.

74. Confucius says that even the largest whales are helpless in the desert.

73. Confucius says: If you want a pretty nanny, you have to be patient.

72. Confucius says that the woman who slides down the railing makes the monkey shine.

71. Confucius says to wash your face in the morning and your neck at night.

70. Confucius says that the woman who dances with a sports belt has a false ballroom.

Nos. 69 and 60. Confucius tells jokes

69. Confucius says that learning to masturbate is useful.

68. Confucius says that the man who puts cream on cakes is not always a baker.

67. Confucius says that when the man with his head on the tracks hears the train, he feels a terrible headache.

66. Confucius says, mermaid with a thimble on your finger, never feel stung.

65. Confucius says that all people eat except fumanchu.

64. Confucius says that the foolish man gives his wife a grand piano and his wife an organ.

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63. Confucius says that the last to laugh did not understand the joke.

62. Confucius says that Kotex is not the best in the world, it is the closest thing in the world.

61. Confucius says that the desk is not a permanent fixture until it is bolted to the table.

60. Confucius says that a man who learns to masturbate is useful!

Nos. 59 and 50. Confucius tells jokes

59. Confucius says that rape should not happen: a woman with her skirt up runs faster than a man with his pants down.

58. Confucius says never raise your hand to an angry child and let go of his groin.

57. Confucius says that the man who takes a lady camping has an intention.

56. Confucius says that many nails are needed to build a cradle, but one screw to fill it.

55. Confucius says that whoever farts in church is sitting in his own pew.

54. Confucius says that war does not determine who is right, war determines who is gone.

53. Confucius says that finding an old man in the dark is not difficult.

52. Confucius says that a superficial woman likes a hot-tempered man.

51. Confucius says that a man who sleeps with a naughty woman wakes up with an itchy trigger finger.

50. Confucius says never trust men with short legs: brain too close to butt.

Nos. 49 and 40. Confucius tells jokes

49. Confucius says that the man who falls into a vat of molten glass makes a show of himself.

48. Confucius says that he who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty traitor.

47. Confucius says, man with a big mouth, watch your feet.

46. ​​​​​​Confucius says that the man sitting on the railing gets a point.

45. Confucius says that those who live in stone houses should not throw glasses.

44. Confucius says that the man who jumps from a cliff jumps last.

43. Confucius says that the woman who puts detergent on the top shelf jumps for joy.

42. Confucius says that a man who puts a stick in the stove has a hot rod.

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41. Confucius says that the man under the wheelbarrow is playing with a tool, not necessarily a mechanic.

40. Confucius says that the man who keeps his feet firmly on the ground has difficulty putting on his pants.

Nos. 39 and 30. Confucius tells jokes

39. Confucius says that it takes many nails to build a cradle but only one screw to fill it.

38. Confucius says that a girl who rides a bicycle goes all over the city.

37. Confucius says that naked men do not fear pickpockets.

36. Confucius says the woman flossing is high on crack.

35. Confucius says that the end of the day is near when little men cast long shadows.

34. Confucius says that the United States is a good place for a Chinese restaurant.

33. Confucius says that a man standing on the toilet bowl is full of marijuana.

32. Confucius says that the man who sinks into the arms of a woman will soon have his arms in the woman's sink.

31. Confucius says that man pisses in the wind, the wind pisses on his back.

30. Confucius says that the man who is being kicked in the testicles is holding the bag.

Nos. 29 and 20. Confucius tells jokes

29. Confucius says that a girl who marries a detective likes to kiss cocks.

28. Confucius says that a man who enters through the side gate of the airport is heading to Bangkok.

27. Confucius says that the sailor who is fired from the navy leaves his friends behind.

26. Confucius says that the man who sleeps with an old chicken likes her more than a chicken.

25. Confucius says that the waitress who sits on the leper's lap receives the tip.

24. Confucius says that a man who goes to bed with an itchy buttock wakes up with a stinky finger.

23. Confucius says that whoever farts in church is sitting in his own pew.

22. Confucius says that a man who marries a girl without a bust has the right to feel inferior.

21. Confucius says that if a woman says no, maybe she means it. When the lady says maybe, she means that she does. If the lady says she is, she says no, lady!

20. Confucius says that a woman who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot is not hygienic.

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Nos. 19 and 10. Confucius tells jokes

19. Confucius says that it is better to be angry than angry.

18. Confucius says, bird in hand, make it hard to blow your nose.

17. Confucius says that a man with a hole in his pocket feels arrogant.

16. Confucius says legless cow, minced meat.

15. Confucius says that whoever eats cookies in bed sleeps badly.

14. Confucius says that the man who comes to the cash register earns money.

13. Confucius says that the smell of elevators is different from that of dwarfs.

12. Confucius says that virginity is like a balloon: one prick and it's all over.

11. Confucius says that if a woman throws herself on a dead rooster, she falls on a flaccid rooster.

10. Confucius says that those who sneeze without a tissue are taking matters into their own hands.

#9 – 1. Confucius tells jokes

9. Confucius says that a man who puts his face in a punch bowl is punched in the nose.

8. Confucius says that men like babies: they want to nurse breasts all day.

7. Confucius makes a lot of jokes about light bulbs and they soon go out.

6. Confucius says that a girl who sits on a jockey's lap gets a good tip.

5. Confucius says that a man who buys a drowned cat gets a wet pussy.

4. Confucius says that a man who speaks with a forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

3. Confucius says that the man who fishes in other people's holes catches crabs.

2. Confucius says that supporting bacteria are just cultures that some people have.

1. Confucius says: "A man cannot exchange a forty-year-old woman for two twenty-year-olds..."

Ideas for the 101 Best Confucian Sagas Jokes come from the following sources. [1]Big Joke - CONFUCIUS TOLD A JOKE[2]just a feed - says Confucius

references[+]

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